Alright lads, you’ve probably just read the title to this field report and are thinking what a pussy, who would write about their first crush in a field report. Well, ask yourself that question after you’re done reading.
It’s a Friday night and Worm’s new employer has decided to throw a casino night for the employees. This basically means free money (fake) to play with, free food, free wine, and, yes, three kegs of beer. The night progressed quickly from witty banter at the roulette and poker tables to doing keg stands in a cubicle and taking bottles of wine for the road. At about nine o’clock in the pm, worm’s co-worker, who he is in fact related to asked if worm would like to go out to a local pub/club so we left and headed over.
We enter the bar (Lola’s) and proceed to find the other people we know there, also well on their way to getting locked (irish expression for those of you who don’t leave Canada). Worm continues his drinking spree and begins double fisting, all the while others are picking up the tab, I’m now tired of talking in the third person and I’m not gonna edit this so it’s I from now on. Anyway, one of my sister’s friends is at Lola’s, and what’s this, she’s brought her younger sister HB8, who we’ll dub HBsis. Now, I’ve never been one for “running game” or anything like that, so I’m just myself and I’m having a good time and we talk and joke around. Then, somehow, this portly 25 year old asian starts following me around everywhere, I’m completely oblivious to it for a while but when I notice and totally pay her no attention she leaves. So HBsis and I keep talking, she’s having a good time, probably wasn’t too into hanging out with her sister at the beginning of the night and we start playing pool. It’s a good game, still joking around and making fun of her shots then I finally win, of course, and the people I’m with want to go. At this point I only really know this girl through association, never mind her name, so I just say we should get together sometime and hand her my phone while saying put your info in here. She does and I plan on calling her soon.
Now you’re thinking, what the hell, I thought this was about your crush…well, it is, boys, relax, we’re getting there.
So we all leave and most people want to go home, but hey, it’s only 1.30am so I decide to head to a local club, the royal, to meet some other people that are supposed to be there. I get in and they’re nowhere to be found…sarging solo, I send my buddy a text and he lets me know they’ve left…whatever, I’m wasted and there are broads everywhere so I go in on my own. I grinded a couple chicks and got two numbers…which I don’t even really remember getting but saw them in my phone the next day. The ugly lights come on and the royal is shutting down so worm heads out solo, thinking it’s been a pretty decent night.
I start walking home, thinking about the high class hookers I’m about to pass and how it’s a little bit of a tease when you’re on your own. Not satisfied with this thought I see three HBs on the street and decide I’ll give it one last go. Now, I don’t even remember how I opened them or the first little bit of the conversation, but we talked for about 10 minutes before they mentioned that two were from Ontario. I then said hey that’s cool I used to live near Toronto. They then asked where, and whadya know I used to live in the same city as them, Guelph. I then start talking about where in the city I lived and what elementary school I went to and guess what, they went to the same school…next question…how old are you…we’re the same age, then one of the HBs, HB8, aka, HBcrush says, wait a minute, is your name Worm? I say ya, then she tells me her name and HB6.5, HBfriend, tells me her name and holy shit, we went from kindergarten all the way to grade 5 with each other. The next thing HBcrush blurts out is “oh my god, I used to have the biggest crush ever on you” to which I reply, and honestly, I did actually have a crush on her and do remember it, “ya, I know, I remember that and I remember we wanted to have a date or something right before I moved.” We keep talking about Guelph and other people I used to be friends with and all that then I ask if they wanna come back to my place to keep chatting and have a couple drinks, they tell me they’re staying at the Best Western two blocks away and we should go there….real tough call (lots of sarcasm here) but I agree.
So we get into their hotel room and pour ourselves a few more drinks, HBfriend and HBothergirl (7.5) are sitting on one bed and HBcrush and I on the other. Soon the other two chicks pass out and are sleeping and HBcrush and I start talking about our little pre-puberty romance and how neither of us forgot it. I went into some detail about this, admittedly embellishing some parts, then made very deep eye contact with her and just held it. The next thing I knew, she was leaning forward to kiss me and we started making out. We made out for a while and slowly layed down. I layed down behind her and pulled her pants down and started tickling the pud. Soon after we got to business and kept at it for quite some time. As an aside, I’d love to be able to get with her again without her friends in the room, just full on if you know what I mean. So we keep going at it and I decided I need more leverage so I get her doggy, no blankets covering anything anymore, and start pounding her, as in bed squeaking, headboard hitting the wall and one of the friends wakes up and the two girls look at each other. Obviously this is awkward for anyone so we stop and HBcrush says lets go outside for some fresh air and we do. Once we’re outside she says she’s so embarrassed etc. and that she’s even dating someone right now, to which I do feel a bit bad, and she suggests I go home cause she knows I live close. I say, come on, I’m super tired lets just go back up and sleep and that it was nothing, “just old feelings finally being realized”. So we head back upstairs and lie down, she moves her body into me on the bed and slowly my hand goes back down her pants and we start getting it on again. I even try throwing it in her ass, to which she doesn’t object at all, but it doesn’t really work out due to lack of lube and me still being drunk…bad aim. So we keep at it until eventually the alarm goes off as the girls are supposed to leave the room that morning. We all get up and HBcrush and I go outside and talk for a bit while the other chicks are getting ready and packing up. She re-iterates how she’s feeling about getting busted, although her friend told her in the morning she didn’t care, and about how she was sorta dating some guy. I say it isn’t a big deal and relax etc. and ask her for her number, she’s living in Whistler for a while, she gives me her number and a long hug and I head home.
Three phone numbers, and a full close; a great night for Lt. Worm.
The Set: 3 Set
The Wing: None
The Opener: Unknown
Number Close: Yes
Kiss Close: Yes
! Close: Yes
Friday, February 23, 2007
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Squirrel: Brand New Game
In light of last night, Squirrel is pleased to announce he has taken drastic action: I have initiated a 180 degree spinarama complete overhaul of my game.
Thinking about my approaches last night I realized that approach anxiety wasn't the only problem. Even once I was in the zone, I wasn't successful -indeed I haven't been in a while- because my game is totally FAKE!
Some of the biggest issues are:
1) Going in with too much energy; openers hence feel a bit forced and fake
2) Asking questions that while entertaining in a narrow sense are completely irrelevant and manifestly there only to mask the fact that I'm gaming them
3) Making it obvious I'm hitting on them-even appearing desperate
4) Relying on dancing to phase shift
Basically my usual approach was to go in with 110% energy and ask them to dance hoping a mere show of confidence would be so overwhelming they couldn't resist. But in hindsight confidence alone is not that impressive. Especially in a bar.
I haven't been picking up because I haven't been myself. My gaming persona has been confident and energetic. But IS the Squirrel confident and energetic? No! He's nerdy, sarcastic, whiny and lazy! I clearly have to advertise those facts!!!
I'm actually serious. My hypothesis is that I'm not closing because I'm trying to overwhelm them with confidence instead of actually building rapport.
In the end real rapport will beat gaming -even confident gaming- every time because it's not as obvious the intent is to prowl.
My roommate has long disputed David Deangelo and maintained that cocky-funny is NOT the answer for everyone because everyone is not naturally cocky. I have always disagreed in deference to the genius of David D but now I think he may be right. For some, a mere confident-funny may be as good or even MORE effective than cocky-funny.
So instead of trying to be the life of the party and going in making fun of other people, from now on I'm going to move in cool and collected and do what I usually do-make fun of myself.
Thinking about my approaches last night I realized that approach anxiety wasn't the only problem. Even once I was in the zone, I wasn't successful -indeed I haven't been in a while- because my game is totally FAKE!
Some of the biggest issues are:
1) Going in with too much energy; openers hence feel a bit forced and fake
2) Asking questions that while entertaining in a narrow sense are completely irrelevant and manifestly there only to mask the fact that I'm gaming them
3) Making it obvious I'm hitting on them-even appearing desperate
4) Relying on dancing to phase shift
Basically my usual approach was to go in with 110% energy and ask them to dance hoping a mere show of confidence would be so overwhelming they couldn't resist. But in hindsight confidence alone is not that impressive. Especially in a bar.
I haven't been picking up because I haven't been myself. My gaming persona has been confident and energetic. But IS the Squirrel confident and energetic? No! He's nerdy, sarcastic, whiny and lazy! I clearly have to advertise those facts!!!
I'm actually serious. My hypothesis is that I'm not closing because I'm trying to overwhelm them with confidence instead of actually building rapport.
In the end real rapport will beat gaming -even confident gaming- every time because it's not as obvious the intent is to prowl.
My roommate has long disputed David Deangelo and maintained that cocky-funny is NOT the answer for everyone because everyone is not naturally cocky. I have always disagreed in deference to the genius of David D but now I think he may be right. For some, a mere confident-funny may be as good or even MORE effective than cocky-funny.
So instead of trying to be the life of the party and going in making fun of other people, from now on I'm going to move in cool and collected and do what I usually do-make fun of myself.
Squirrel Report #2: An AFC Valentine's Day
Boys it's gut check time! I'll be honest. My game isn't where I want it to be at this point.
I think a lot of the time field reports are like war stories. People love posting stories of daring and courage and victory. But you don't read so many stories of bleeding and crying or cowardice. Well, tonight I bled out there. But I'm posting it anyway in the hopes that at least having the balls to admit it will help my game somewhat.
PRE GAME
Prior to tonight I'd been feeling pretty good. As far as hunting theory goes I have it down. I have most of the answers. I know what to do and I enjoy instructing on the correct mentality and approach tactics. However, tonight I realized I might be talking the talk without completely walking the walk.
Lately I have done a lot of nothing, been lazy and not gone out or made any approaches. I decided to go out tonight only when pressured. I have been talking a lot of shit but suddenly the people I lecture are getting results. This weekend Worm !closed, Turtle number closed and almost extracted, and even Wild Goat number closed. (Thata boy Goat!)
I didn't focus on gaming a single set over a prolonged period and as a result I got nothing-even though I consider myself to have more powerful game than most of the individuals mentioned with the exception of Worm PUA.
So tonight when I couldn't find a wing and I hadn't done any approaches in days, behind in the game versus some of my wings, I decided I had to live up to my reputation and go into the field even if it meant doing it solo. That's right lone wolf!
IN FIELD
Long story short, I really didn't feel like it but knew I had to. I delayed by studying in the library and then when it closed I decided to walk past the pub. I hesitated by the door. The bouncer didn't know what the fuck I was doing. Neither did I. Assuming I was going in, he asked if I had ID. I pulled some out and was in the field.
First thing: beer. I stood awkwardly at the bar waiting to get a drink. I was aware my body language was bad and this only made me more nervous. I got a pint. Drank it.
Now let me be clear. A few years ago I was absolute AFC. Complete, utterly scared, virginal AFC material. Those days are long past me. But now, for the first time in years I was working a social setting solo and it all came back. Suddenly all my game was gone. It was like I had reverted back to nothing. I was so nervous my legs were actually physically shaking a bit. Real unbelievable AFCishness.
Took another pint. And had a major realization: for some reason I cared more about what this group of random people would think about me than what I thought about myself. That's crazy.
Only positive was that I wasn't going to quit. I wasn't going to be a pussy even though I was kind of being a pussy. I would force myself to stay and sarge the room alone.
Mid way into third pint another realization: even after a couple beers I just couldn't sarge without wings. As weak as that sounds I still was not at the point where I could sarge confidently alone. It was scary to approach not knowing that in the worst case scenario I can't return to a friendly face for some validation and a pat on the back. Of course this only made me more nervous; I was in the position of having to open a male set. In my mind there is nothing more pathetic and gay than being alone at a bar and trying to open male sets.
Luckily a dude opened me. He saw me alone, AFCing and pushed me into a couple sets. Great! Suddenly I was myself again: smiling, working the room, I had my confidence back. I was there doing what I do.
It's strange to admit it but with some guys watching the effort I felt confidence. Whereas before I feared the reaction to being seen getting shut down now I knew the guys wouldn't expect me to sarge perfectly and so every set was just an opportunity to exceed expectations for Squirrel PUA.
Now by the end of the night unfortunately I still had not met my modest goal-one number to salvage an otherwise weak Valentine's week. But I had made several approaches at least.
By the time I was IN the game mentally unfortunately most of the targets were gone-the other guys were by then also in the game mentally-ie drunk.
In the end I'm happy I persevered but concerned:
a) My confidence in my game may be actually artificial and will evaporate the moment I don't have a wing as "training wheels"
and/or
b) My game is dependent on consuming at least three pints of beer and I won't be able to sarge without alcohol, effectively reducing me to a life of alcoholism
To be honest I don't think either scenario is that likely to it was scary out there for a while and I am now aware that to some degree these self-limiting perceptions remain and will have to be overcome.
So all in all a squirrelly night. But Stan will be back Friday.
I think a lot of the time field reports are like war stories. People love posting stories of daring and courage and victory. But you don't read so many stories of bleeding and crying or cowardice. Well, tonight I bled out there. But I'm posting it anyway in the hopes that at least having the balls to admit it will help my game somewhat.
PRE GAME
Prior to tonight I'd been feeling pretty good. As far as hunting theory goes I have it down. I have most of the answers. I know what to do and I enjoy instructing on the correct mentality and approach tactics. However, tonight I realized I might be talking the talk without completely walking the walk.
Lately I have done a lot of nothing, been lazy and not gone out or made any approaches. I decided to go out tonight only when pressured. I have been talking a lot of shit but suddenly the people I lecture are getting results. This weekend Worm !closed, Turtle number closed and almost extracted, and even Wild Goat number closed. (Thata boy Goat!)
I didn't focus on gaming a single set over a prolonged period and as a result I got nothing-even though I consider myself to have more powerful game than most of the individuals mentioned with the exception of Worm PUA.
So tonight when I couldn't find a wing and I hadn't done any approaches in days, behind in the game versus some of my wings, I decided I had to live up to my reputation and go into the field even if it meant doing it solo. That's right lone wolf!
IN FIELD
Long story short, I really didn't feel like it but knew I had to. I delayed by studying in the library and then when it closed I decided to walk past the pub. I hesitated by the door. The bouncer didn't know what the fuck I was doing. Neither did I. Assuming I was going in, he asked if I had ID. I pulled some out and was in the field.
First thing: beer. I stood awkwardly at the bar waiting to get a drink. I was aware my body language was bad and this only made me more nervous. I got a pint. Drank it.
Now let me be clear. A few years ago I was absolute AFC. Complete, utterly scared, virginal AFC material. Those days are long past me. But now, for the first time in years I was working a social setting solo and it all came back. Suddenly all my game was gone. It was like I had reverted back to nothing. I was so nervous my legs were actually physically shaking a bit. Real unbelievable AFCishness.
Took another pint. And had a major realization: for some reason I cared more about what this group of random people would think about me than what I thought about myself. That's crazy.
Only positive was that I wasn't going to quit. I wasn't going to be a pussy even though I was kind of being a pussy. I would force myself to stay and sarge the room alone.
Mid way into third pint another realization: even after a couple beers I just couldn't sarge without wings. As weak as that sounds I still was not at the point where I could sarge confidently alone. It was scary to approach not knowing that in the worst case scenario I can't return to a friendly face for some validation and a pat on the back. Of course this only made me more nervous; I was in the position of having to open a male set. In my mind there is nothing more pathetic and gay than being alone at a bar and trying to open male sets.
Luckily a dude opened me. He saw me alone, AFCing and pushed me into a couple sets. Great! Suddenly I was myself again: smiling, working the room, I had my confidence back. I was there doing what I do.
It's strange to admit it but with some guys watching the effort I felt confidence. Whereas before I feared the reaction to being seen getting shut down now I knew the guys wouldn't expect me to sarge perfectly and so every set was just an opportunity to exceed expectations for Squirrel PUA.
Now by the end of the night unfortunately I still had not met my modest goal-one number to salvage an otherwise weak Valentine's week. But I had made several approaches at least.
By the time I was IN the game mentally unfortunately most of the targets were gone-the other guys were by then also in the game mentally-ie drunk.
In the end I'm happy I persevered but concerned:
a) My confidence in my game may be actually artificial and will evaporate the moment I don't have a wing as "training wheels"
and/or
b) My game is dependent on consuming at least three pints of beer and I won't be able to sarge without alcohol, effectively reducing me to a life of alcoholism
To be honest I don't think either scenario is that likely to it was scary out there for a while and I am now aware that to some degree these self-limiting perceptions remain and will have to be overcome.
So all in all a squirrelly night. But Stan will be back Friday.
Sunday, February 4, 2007
L.T.W: The Return of Worm
hey buddy!
ltw is back baby! and i don't know why i ever left....well i do, regular sex has its benefits....and you know it...anyway,
squeezed two different sets of tits....and both were fucking nice....as in number one hb8, number two hb7.5
The Set:
hb8 was on this big stage with her friend dancing, but lt worm pua decides fuck it, i grab cam and tell him we're going up there to grind these two...seems like just another set of chicks that wanna dance alone, but hey, wormy gets up on stage, i catch her eye, then say...
The Opener:
"did you just look at me?, i'm pretty sure i just caught you checking me out", she smiles and giggles a bit then i say.."well now you're gonna have to dance with me" and she says ok...so i grab her and just start grinding her right away hahahahaha, cam has now secured her friend and we both proceed to grind the shit out of them, start squeezing their tits and shit...it was great,
then they pulled the disappearing act...going to the bathroom, lloyd doesn't like waiting that long though so he gets back out on the floor.....
The Second Opener:
and finds hb7.5 who he met outside in the lineup after having a classic peanut butter conversation...ala smooth is way fucking better than chunky, so anyway, she sees me and cam and her friend is with her so we grab them and start grinding,
The Mid Game:
we're grinding for a while then i start grabbing her tits, she takes my hand off and puts it back on her hips, then i kiss her neck and she takes my just rejected hand and puts it back on her tit! hahahahahha i love that shit.
later on, cam has now left somehow he lost his broad and apparently it was lenny (black lenny...looking for some girls (silent r))! well a look alike anyways who has pulled this broads friend so i'm trying to get them all back to my place cause it's a short walk then all of a sudden
The Obstacle:
these fags who apparently already know these chicks show up and start acting like retards....intruding on my set if you will,
AMOGing The "Fags":
but lt worm just played it cool and quietly asked my broad if she actually knew these losers....result, a few mins later the broads basically told them to fuck off
The Kino:
....so know i'm thinking alright sweet, especially because by this point we're sitting down on these steps waiting for one of their other friends and my hand has now moved to rubbing her between her legs....start on the thigh, slowly moving it further up, get really close and she pushes it away...lmr, lmr, since i've read the game i know what this shit is, move my hand back down and rub her thigh more, squeeze it, other arm around her, hand under her jeans rubbing her ass, move my hand back up and start rubbing her pussy finally....i'm sitting there with black lenny rubbing some girl's poon....great times! but,
The Second Obstacle:
then the friend i just mentioned appears and she's not too cool. frankly, she's an hb5 and she totally sucked, anyway, she goes to get their car cause she's trying to pull them out.....where's a squirrel pua to take one for the team when you need him...actually the friend sucked balls, i wouldn't even have asked you to take her. but anyway, things are obviously now in doubt, i'm still talking about going back to my place and they're coming around, lenny's broad had to work today though, but after a while she was down so looked like it was gonna happen, then my broad's phone rings, the friend has apparently stalled her car on lions gate bridge, i can hear her crying on the phone, retarded, so the broads jump in a cab to go find her and sort it out......damn.
That's my field report for today squirrel, i expect one from you too, feel free to post this on your sarging website....in fact send me the link again cause i want to see it once it's up there.
Lt. Worm
The Game Tape: Regrouping For Game Two
1. Make sure to have luck on your side. Pray your target's dumb friends don't get themselves into trouble.
The Hunt In Brief
The Set: 2 Set
The Wing: Cam
The Opener: Cocky Funny
Number Close: Yes
Kiss Close: Yes
! Close: No
ltw is back baby! and i don't know why i ever left....well i do, regular sex has its benefits....and you know it...anyway,
squeezed two different sets of tits....and both were fucking nice....as in number one hb8, number two hb7.5
The Set:
hb8 was on this big stage with her friend dancing, but lt worm pua decides fuck it, i grab cam and tell him we're going up there to grind these two...seems like just another set of chicks that wanna dance alone, but hey, wormy gets up on stage, i catch her eye, then say...
The Opener:
"did you just look at me?, i'm pretty sure i just caught you checking me out", she smiles and giggles a bit then i say.."well now you're gonna have to dance with me" and she says ok...so i grab her and just start grinding her right away hahahahaha, cam has now secured her friend and we both proceed to grind the shit out of them, start squeezing their tits and shit...it was great,
then they pulled the disappearing act...going to the bathroom, lloyd doesn't like waiting that long though so he gets back out on the floor.....
The Second Opener:
and finds hb7.5 who he met outside in the lineup after having a classic peanut butter conversation...ala smooth is way fucking better than chunky, so anyway, she sees me and cam and her friend is with her so we grab them and start grinding,
The Mid Game:
we're grinding for a while then i start grabbing her tits, she takes my hand off and puts it back on her hips, then i kiss her neck and she takes my just rejected hand and puts it back on her tit! hahahahahha i love that shit.
later on, cam has now left somehow he lost his broad and apparently it was lenny (black lenny...looking for some girls (silent r))! well a look alike anyways who has pulled this broads friend so i'm trying to get them all back to my place cause it's a short walk then all of a sudden
The Obstacle:
these fags who apparently already know these chicks show up and start acting like retards....intruding on my set if you will,
AMOGing The "Fags":
but lt worm just played it cool and quietly asked my broad if she actually knew these losers....result, a few mins later the broads basically told them to fuck off
The Kino:
....so know i'm thinking alright sweet, especially because by this point we're sitting down on these steps waiting for one of their other friends and my hand has now moved to rubbing her between her legs....start on the thigh, slowly moving it further up, get really close and she pushes it away...lmr, lmr, since i've read the game i know what this shit is, move my hand back down and rub her thigh more, squeeze it, other arm around her, hand under her jeans rubbing her ass, move my hand back up and start rubbing her pussy finally....i'm sitting there with black lenny rubbing some girl's poon....great times! but,
The Second Obstacle:
then the friend i just mentioned appears and she's not too cool. frankly, she's an hb5 and she totally sucked, anyway, she goes to get their car cause she's trying to pull them out.....where's a squirrel pua to take one for the team when you need him...actually the friend sucked balls, i wouldn't even have asked you to take her. but anyway, things are obviously now in doubt, i'm still talking about going back to my place and they're coming around, lenny's broad had to work today though, but after a while she was down so looked like it was gonna happen, then my broad's phone rings, the friend has apparently stalled her car on lions gate bridge, i can hear her crying on the phone, retarded, so the broads jump in a cab to go find her and sort it out......damn.
That's my field report for today squirrel, i expect one from you too, feel free to post this on your sarging website....in fact send me the link again cause i want to see it once it's up there.
Lt. Worm
The Game Tape: Regrouping For Game Two
1. Make sure to have luck on your side. Pray your target's dumb friends don't get themselves into trouble.
The Hunt In Brief
The Set: 2 Set
The Wing: Cam
The Opener: Cocky Funny
Number Close: Yes
Kiss Close: Yes
! Close: No
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