Worm Report: My First Crush

Alright lads, you’ve probably just read the title to this field report and are thinking what a pussy, who would write about their first crush in a field report. Well, ask yourself that question after you’re done reading.

It’s a Friday night and Worm’s new employer has decided to throw a casino night for the employees. This basically means free money (fake) to play with, free food, free wine, and, yes, three kegs of beer. The night progressed quickly from witty banter at the roulette and poker tables to doing keg stands in a cubicle and taking bottles of wine for the road. At about nine o’clock in the pm, worm’s co-worker, who he is in fact related to asked if worm would like to go out to a local pub/club so we left and headed over.

We enter the bar (Lola’s) and proceed to find the other people we know there, also well on their way to getting locked (irish expression for those of you who don’t leave Canada). Worm continues his drinking spree and begins double fisting, all the while others are picking up the tab, I’m now tired of talking in the third person and I’m not gonna edit this so it’s I from now on. Anyway, one of my sister’s friends is at Lola’s, and what’s this, she’s brought her younger sister HB8, who we’ll dub HBsis. Now, I’ve never been one for “running game” or anything like that, so I’m just myself and I’m having a good time and we talk and joke around. Then, somehow, this portly 25 year old asian starts following me around everywhere, I’m completely oblivious to it for a while but when I notice and totally pay her no attention she leaves. So HBsis and I keep talking, she’s having a good time, probably wasn’t too into hanging out with her sister at the beginning of the night and we start playing pool. It’s a good game, still joking around and making fun of her shots then I finally win, of course, and the people I’m with want to go. At this point I only really know this girl through association, never mind her name, so I just say we should get together sometime and hand her my phone while saying put your info in here. She does and I plan on calling her soon.

Now you’re thinking, what the hell, I thought this was about your crush…well, it is, boys, relax, we’re getting there.

So we all leave and most people want to go home, but hey, it’s only 1.30am so I decide to head to a local club, the royal, to meet some other people that are supposed to be there. I get in and they’re nowhere to be found…sarging solo, I send my buddy a text and he lets me know they’ve left…whatever, I’m wasted and there are broads everywhere so I go in on my own. I grinded a couple chicks and got two numbers…which I don’t even really remember getting but saw them in my phone the next day. The ugly lights come on and the royal is shutting down so worm heads out solo, thinking it’s been a pretty decent night.

I start walking home, thinking about the high class hookers I’m about to pass and how it’s a little bit of a tease when you’re on your own. Not satisfied with this thought I see three HBs on the street and decide I’ll give it one last go. Now, I don’t even remember how I opened them or the first little bit of the conversation, but we talked for about 10 minutes before they mentioned that two were from Ontario. I then said hey that’s cool I used to live near Toronto. They then asked where, and whadya know I used to live in the same city as them, Guelph. I then start talking about where in the city I lived and what elementary school I went to and guess what, they went to the same school…next question…how old are you…we’re the same age, then one of the HBs, HB8, aka, HBcrush says, wait a minute, is your name Worm? I say ya, then she tells me her name and HB6.5, HBfriend, tells me her name and holy shit, we went from kindergarten all the way to grade 5 with each other. The next thing HBcrush blurts out is “oh my god, I used to have the biggest crush ever on you” to which I reply, and honestly, I did actually have a crush on her and do remember it, “ya, I know, I remember that and I remember we wanted to have a date or something right before I moved.” We keep talking about Guelph and other people I used to be friends with and all that then I ask if they wanna come back to my place to keep chatting and have a couple drinks, they tell me they’re staying at the Best Western two blocks away and we should go there….real tough call (lots of sarcasm here) but I agree.

So we get into their hotel room and pour ourselves a few more drinks, HBfriend and HBothergirl (7.5) are sitting on one bed and HBcrush and I on the other. Soon the other two chicks pass out and are sleeping and HBcrush and I start talking about our little pre-puberty romance and how neither of us forgot it. I went into some detail about this, admittedly embellishing some parts, then made very deep eye contact with her and just held it. The next thing I knew, she was leaning forward to kiss me and we started making out. We made out for a while and slowly layed down. I layed down behind her and pulled her pants down and started tickling the pud. Soon after we got to business and kept at it for quite some time. As an aside, I’d love to be able to get with her again without her friends in the room, just full on if you know what I mean. So we keep going at it and I decided I need more leverage so I get her doggy, no blankets covering anything anymore, and start pounding her, as in bed squeaking, headboard hitting the wall and one of the friends wakes up and the two girls look at each other. Obviously this is awkward for anyone so we stop and HBcrush says lets go outside for some fresh air and we do. Once we’re outside she says she’s so embarrassed etc. and that she’s even dating someone right now, to which I do feel a bit bad, and she suggests I go home cause she knows I live close. I say, come on, I’m super tired lets just go back up and sleep and that it was nothing, “just old feelings finally being realized”. So we head back upstairs and lie down, she moves her body into me on the bed and slowly my hand goes back down her pants and we start getting it on again. I even try throwing it in her ass, to which she doesn’t object at all, but it doesn’t really work out due to lack of lube and me still being drunk…bad aim. So we keep at it until eventually the alarm goes off as the girls are supposed to leave the room that morning. We all get up and HBcrush and I go outside and talk for a bit while the other chicks are getting ready and packing up. She re-iterates how she’s feeling about getting busted, although her friend told her in the morning she didn’t care, and about how she was sorta dating some guy. I say it isn’t a big deal and relax etc. and ask her for her number, she’s living in Whistler for a while, she gives me her number and a long hug and I head home.

Three phone numbers, and a full close; a great night for Lt. Worm.

The Set: 3 Set
The Wing: None
The Opener: Unknown
Number Close: Yes
Kiss Close: Yes
! Close: Yes