Squirrel: Brand New Game

In light of last night, Squirrel is pleased to announce he has taken drastic action: I have initiated a 180 degree spinarama complete overhaul of my game.

Thinking about my approaches last night I realized that approach anxiety wasn't the only problem. Even once I was in the zone, I wasn't successful -indeed I haven't been in a while- because my game is totally FAKE!

Some of the biggest issues are:

1) Going in with too much energy; openers hence feel a bit forced and fake
2) Asking questions that while entertaining in a narrow sense are completely irrelevant and manifestly there only to mask the fact that I'm gaming them
3) Making it obvious I'm hitting on them-even appearing desperate
4) Relying on dancing to phase shift

Basically my usual approach was to go in with 110% energy and ask them to dance hoping a mere show of confidence would be so overwhelming they couldn't resist. But in hindsight confidence alone is not that impressive. Especially in a bar.

I haven't been picking up because I haven't been myself. My gaming persona has been confident and energetic. But IS the Squirrel confident and energetic? No! He's nerdy, sarcastic, whiny and lazy! I clearly have to advertise those facts!!!

I'm actually serious. My hypothesis is that I'm not closing because I'm trying to overwhelm them with confidence instead of actually building rapport.

In the end real rapport will beat gaming -even confident gaming- every time because it's not as obvious the intent is to prowl.

My roommate has long disputed David Deangelo and maintained that cocky-funny is NOT the answer for everyone because everyone is not naturally cocky. I have always disagreed in deference to the genius of David D but now I think he may be right. For some, a mere confident-funny may be as good or even MORE effective than cocky-funny.

So instead of trying to be the life of the party and going in making fun of other people, from now on I'm going to move in cool and collected and do what I usually do-make fun of myself.